Prince Charles’ Solar Panels

To the Independent about our beloved heir to the throne:

Sirs,

Once again our heir to the throne seems to have been smoking the flowers instead of talking to them. His latest hair-brained scheme is to put a mass of photo-voltaic solar panels on a listed building – something to which he would no doubt vociferously object were anyone else to behave so vandalously. This has delighted tree huggers everywhere who seem to be as oblivious as him about the hideous pollution caused by the production of these things. We would be doing a better service to the planet if we banned them, but there is no telling that to the smugly self-righteous, is there?

Paul Harper

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Ground Zero Mosque

To The Chicago Tribune. Unpublished unsurprisingly!

Sirs,

The fuss over the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” is the cause of some amusement over here in the old country of England. To see all this noise and posturing from a country that was founded to escape religious persecution and oppression raises wry smiles. That the self-same religious persecution and oppression is alive and well causes us over here to ponder whether anything at all has been learned over there in the last four hundred years. You should be ashamed of yourselves and embarrassed. It is certainly embarrassing to watch.

Paul Harper

California Devolution?

In a desert truck race, with no safety precautions whatsoever, a truck veered off and killed six spectators, injuring dozens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8cyzTYWTgY

Letter to the Independent:

Sirs,

I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of people. Standing less than ten feet from the landing zone of airborne two-ton trucks in an unlighted night-time desert race, eight people are killed and dozens injured in an accident.

Only then, when it is too late, do the idiotic spectators start to complain about the lack of crash barriers. Only then, when it is too late, do they realise that even cheap thrills can have a high price.

Whatever the opposite of evolution is, it’s going on in America…

Regards,

Paul Harper

Pakistan Flood Appeal Lack of Success

Sirs,

The UN is asking for some £500,000,000 to be raised for Pakistan’s flood victims. This is a few days income for the oil-rich Arab states with all their billionaires. Remind me again why this is a Western problem when the Muslim world has it so easily within its capacity to sort the problem out for itself, and very quickly indeed?

The relative lack of success of the appeals is not just compassion fatigue, but irritation at the assumption that we have to step in and sort out other people’s problems all the time, especially when so much money has been spent and so many lives lost in that region failing to protect ourselves from the militants they are so ineffective at controlling themselves.

This appeal shortfall is the first direct result of the new Cameron straight-talking foreign policy.

Paul Harper

Topless Sunbathing

One of The Independent’s arch feministas has a go at topless sunbathers being asked to cover up…

Sirs,

Bryony Gordon misses the point with respect to topless sunbathing. Nobody objected to Brigitte Bardot being topless. If every woman looked like her, or even close, nobody would object today. It’s when ugly women do it that people object. When it becomes difficult to tell where their breasts end and their bingo wings start, it is a less than attractive look. When they walk down the beach leaving six trails behind them – one for each foot, one for each buttock and one for each breast, being asked to cover up is not prudishness on the part of the observers, but a means of retaining their breakfast.

Paul Harper

Poor Dom Joly

The Independent’s Dom Joly and I disagree over what constitutes art…

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-i-am-the-victim-of-a-dastardly-art-heist-2046379.html

Sirs,

I have a huge amount of sympathy for Mr Joly in his irritation at his original art being plagiarized by the Belgians(Independent on Sunday this week). I am unsure, however, whether it is the fault of our beloved European neighbours, or our own government for not allowing the copyrighting of mindless stupidity. Clearly a case of one man’s art being another’s toilet paper. Perhaps there can be some sort of UN protection scheme for purveyors of parody of the bleedin’ obvious?

Paul Harper