The 2013 Awards Season: The Lord Harper Award goes to Russell Brand

My one and only “… of the year” award: For constantly sounding like a fart in a thesaurus factory; for having opinions on everything without having thought of anything; for allowing his childish desire to sound educated and funny overwhelm any desire to actually be correct; and finally for rebelling against something he doesn’t understand, using methods that nobody would notice and with no defined alternative considered, my “Total Dickhead of 2013 Award” goes to: Russell Brand.

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Why is Ronnie Biggs being sanctified by the media?

It is disappointing to see how this morning’s news media is reacting to the death of Great Train Robber, Ronnie Biggs.

He spent his entire life wanting something for nothing. Once his stolen money started to run out and his health started failing, he came back here expecting the rest of us to pay for his healthcare.

He wasn’t a “loveable rogue”, he was a parasite and a criminal and an attempted murderer.

His death as a dribbling, imbecilic, stroke-addled incontinent is about all the dignity he deserves.

with some of the heaviest editing that any of my whinges has ever had, the Standard printed it:

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Nelson Mandela

Sirs,

Nelson Mandela was a giant of a man. The world is far poorer now without him but has been immeasurably enriched because of his efforts.

We can all count ourselves very lucky to have lived at the same time as him and to have witnessed a master class in humanity.

If there is anyone truly deserving of the phrase “rest in peace” it is him.

Paul Harper