Scotland – Please, please, please vote Yes today

So, Scotland votes today over whether it gets to make its own mistakes from now on. With a record-setting turnout expected what, exactly, are they voting on?

On all of the important questions – currency, debt, revenues, oil, defence, memberships of the EU, Commonwealth & NATO and use of currently shared resources like the BBC, national grid, post office, royal family etc., nothing has been decided.

Nothing whatsoever.

This has to be one of the least-informed referenda ever.

They’re voting on some Walt Disney-esque vision of a tartan decorated Never-Never Land pushed by that moon-faced jumped-up council leader Salmond in a desperate attempt at securing himself a legacy before congestive heart failure sets in – and nothing else.

Should Scotland decide to leave, it will make very little difference to the UK other than to temporarily irritate the terminal nostalgics who think the UK ever actually meant anything. To Scotland, though, the changes will be dramatic and not necessarily in a good way.

So, what is going to happen today? My guess is a narrow victory for the “No” campaign. This will be my worst nightmare because The Krankies will then spend years and years arguing over a “devolution max” deal and will STILL end up blaming “Westminster” for everything they fuck up. They’ll be permanently on TV.

What I would like to happen is for a fairly strong “Yes” victory. This is because, as I said, it won’t make any real difference to the rest of us and I would be curious about what happens to Scotland afterwards when they have to start serious negotiations with ruthless people. This is also the option that gets Salmond and his smug grin off my news channels quickest except as the comedy “and finally…” segment at the bottom of the hour.

So, Scotland, vote yes today please. I need a good laugh.

“Dancing Guardsman” issue misdiagnosed

Letter to the Standard in response to this

I don’t see the problem with the “dancing guardsman”. He’s there to entertain the tourists and he’s doing a good job.

Walking around in front of a building in a comedy uniform is no job for an adult anyway, certainly no job for a trained and respected member of our armed forces.

If there is a problem here it is the role of our military being demeaned by making them guard an empty office building in a silly costume. That’s a job for the police…