Where did all the adults go?

The New York Times asked why people put all the gory details of their relationships onto Instagram. They asked what it was for. I happily supplied the answer:

I can’t be arsed to wade through the article or its advertisements, but the answer your question about why is simple: Validation.

Since everyone these days seems to have a mental age of 13, validation is very important. It is vital to be seen to be a caring, humane, complete person. Far more important, of course, to be seen to be one than actually be one. Being seen to be grown-up enough to be in a relationship is a vital part of that.

“Admire my maturity! It’s all on social media for you to see. Wonder at my complex life as I lurch from self-made crisis to self-made crisis with all the grace and style of a fish on a dockside…”

So desperate are these simple-minded folk for approbation, applause and approval that they miss the point by a country mile. The only people noticing their desperate narcissism are others with similar stunted growth. People who think that reality television is real. People who define themselves by the reactions of others. People who live and die by the “Oxygen of the Click”.

This self-propelled circle jerk of inanity is great for the low-end advertisers who prey on these people, and it’s also great for everyone else out here because it stops these irritating little people talking to us. “Have you seen my Instagram page?” “No.” End of conversation.

I work in a public space, so I get to view close-up the behaviour patterns of flocks of humans. A large group of several dozen waddled past a couple of days ago, every one of them glued to their phone screen. One specimen even had two – no exaggeration.

A quick check online confirmed my fear – it’s Pokémon time again and the Pokémorons are all out in force, hunting the little collections of coloured dots that exist only on their screens and in their minds.

Several years ago, I realised that this planet’s most intelligent species was manufactured by Apple and Samsung and it is carried around by its dumbest.