“I don’t judge”

I really wish people would stop saying & writing “I don’t judge”. 

It’s a lie. Everyone judges all the time. 

It’s how we decide how to vote, where to shop, what to wear and who to like, marry and have sex with.

“I don’t judge” is just virtue-signaling, smug, sanctimonious bullshit and a juvenile attempt at putting themselves on a quite unjustifiable pedestal.

It’s their attempt at saying “Don’t judge me” and it never – *ever* – works, because by saying that you’re automatically judged and found wanting.

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Bored already with the Danny Baker fuss

Bored already by the Danny Baker fuss.

Was it juvenile? Yes. Was it inappropriate? Yes. Was it racist? The intent was not, but the interpretation was. The second that the racist interpretation was pointed out to Baker, he deleted the post and apologised for it.

But that’s not good enough for the professionally-offended fuckwits on social media who love nothing more than being judge, jury and executioner. The people actively seeking offence, usually unrequested and on behalf of someone else.

These days, sadly, it’s not enough to raise an indignant eyebrow, tut, and metaphorically slap someone around the head, telling them to grow up.

These days, at the very minimum, it has to be career-ending in order to placate the mindless and moronic audience around the social media gallows.

It’s fucking pathetic, it really is.

I’m no fan of Baker – I have him blocked on Twitter because his whitterings irritate me. So this doesn’t come from any fanboy perspective. I don’t even like the guy.

But I’ve used this phrase so often lately that I want it on my gravestone:

Where did all the adults go? I miss them.

Things to avoid when you’re anywhere near me.

There are many irritating things about modern living.

In order to save some time in the future, here’s a short and incomplete list of things that irritate me.

Avoid them and we’ll get along just fine.

  • Over-entitlement
  • Platitudes
  • Wilful ignorance
  • Expectation of empathy
  • Demands for respect
  • Bandwagons
  • Opportunism
  • Professional victims
  • Populism
  • Religion – all of them
  • Clichés
  • Hand-wringers
  • Virtue-signallers
  • Shallow thinkers
  • “Inspirational” stories
  • Trial by social media
  • Instagram “models”
  • Assumptions
  • Under-analyses
  • Bureaucracy
  • Videoing things instead of watching them

And finally…

  • Lists.

Brexit is about irrelevance.

There’s always a danger in over-simplifying, of course, but to my mind it’s really quite simple. Brexit is about how irrelevant people deal with their irrelevance.

Leavers have reached a crisis point and cannot deal with it any more. The massive insecurity that they feel at being irrelevant manifests itself against those they falsely see as oppressing them – the establishment: especially the EU which is full of “bloody foreigners”. They cling to trite little slogans that promise relevance, like “taking back control” and other bullshit, as though they’re survivors of the Titanic. They have no idea – absolutely no idea – how to cope with their empty, shallow lives, so they’re lashing out now that they’ve been enabled by lying chancers like Farage, Johnson and Rees Mogg.

Remainers, on the other hand, are dealing with our irrelevance much better. We know we’re a knackered old has-been of an island at the arse end of Europe that nobody would really miss if it sunk, so we’re making the best of it by wanting to be a part of something bigger. We’re content with paying to be a part of the club and the club is happy to put up with our belligerent bullshit so long as we do so. We’re not threatened by them and actually quite like being asked occasionally what we think about stuff. It’s nice being in the club because we can pretend that we’re important even if deep down we really know we’re not.

I think that it really is that simple.

From Hero to Zero in Six Short Years

Re-watching the one hour BBC special “The Golden Games” about the 2012 Olympics.

It’s painful – physically painful.

It recalls a time, just six short years ago, when this country could hold its head up high and be proud of itself instead of head down and ashamed.

It was a time when we showed the world how to do it right instead of be a model of how things should not happen.

It was a time when people of vision created and shared something unique and truly magical instead of withdrawing behind hatred and insular arrogance.

It was when we said to the world, “Come join us, it’ll be fun” – and it was, instead of telling everyone to go away because we don’t like you.

It was when tens of thousands of like-minded people gave their time and energy for free to help our city and our country look good and to give everyone else a great time instead of railing against our neighbours and withdrawing from everything that means anything.

It was when we had influence and power and showed how to use it for good instead of being a mean-spirited nobody hiding in the dark fringes of civilisation.

It was a time when being British wasn’t embarrassing.

I miss that time, just six short years ago. I miss it terribly.

Straight Actors in Gay Roles

The BBC published a story about actor Darren Criss who announced that after playing the gay character of Andrew Cunanan in American Crime Story: The Assassination Of Gianni Versace, he wouldn’t be playing any more gay roles because it deprives gay actors of that opportunity: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-46660373

This really – and I mean really – pisses me off.

Apparently, when you are acting, it’s okay to pretend to take on any of the attributes of someone else *except* their sexuality (and, presumably, their skin colour).

That’s some sort of half-arsed “reserved power” that can only be exercised if the actor shares that specific attribute.

Utter bullshit.

That is NOT what equality is about.

Frankly, it’s fucking patronising and I hate that sort of condescension with a vengeance.

Revolving Doors and the Future of Humanity

If there’s one thing that convinces me that humanity has reached the end of its growth process and is now at a complete evolutionary dead end, it is our inability to deal effectively with an unpowered revolving door.

Tower Bridge has to employ people – at quite a generous hourly rate – to stand outside and ensure that visitors don’t just stand there, feebly waving at the “Push” signs on the door, or try to ram their entire family of five obese adults into a single door compartment, or try to push it in the wrong direction, or decapitate themselves as it revolves.

As anyone who has read my Facebook posts over the years will know, my opinion on the capabilities of my fellow humans has never been terribly high.

Watching the planet’s most advanced species get totally and utterly stumped by a few pounds of rotating glass door has sunk it to a new low.

Disastrous climate change can’t happen fast enough in my view…